I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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