I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
