Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
