Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
