Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
