he shaved USA in his pubs
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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