It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
im on a boat
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