I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
