Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
