that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
