there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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