my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
