So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
