How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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