'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
