its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
a search helicopter?!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
