What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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