the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Your cock deserves a montage
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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