you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
