I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
4 words: hood of his car
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
