Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
