3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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