i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
