Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
