well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So much rum. So many feels.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
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