My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
