i just google imaged poop.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
