you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
