if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
