guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
