are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
