im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
