she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
