Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
