I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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