Can i not drive my cunt home
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
