only if we run a train.
done.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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