The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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