Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Holy shit dude........stairs
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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