im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
