I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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