S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
