Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
