i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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