I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
