weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
