New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
