I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
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