alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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