lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Please don't give away my fajitas
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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